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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30034896">the sea's embrace</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresFromOurHearts/pseuds/FiresFromOurHearts'>FiresFromOurHearts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Uncharted Waters [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Families of Choice, Family, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Good Things Only, Queerplatonic Relationships, ROOT ANBU, Team as Family, except it's 4+1, they fucking love each other so much and i love them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:34:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30034896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresFromOurHearts/pseuds/FiresFromOurHearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Firsts</p><p>4+1 with Toru's team for the prompt firsts. All good feels, I promise.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Uncharted Waters [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the sea's embrace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <ol>
<li>The first time someone comes back for you.</li>
</ol><p>In ROOT, they teach you that the mission comes first. They teach you that it is better to die than to fail. They teach you to leave your fallen comrades behind to succeed. ANBU is similar in a way, but there are even more ways in which it isn’t the same.</p><p>From the beginning, Souma found it strange. But he found a number of things strange. Learning that there’s a whole world outside of ROOT is strange, learning to show emotion is strange.</p><p>
  <em>(In the future, Souma will look at Toru and think how he dared to love, dared to care, and those will be the most astonishing things he will ever encounter. He will love Toru all the more for it.)</em>
</p><p>Following the disbandment of ROOT, Souma is placed on a team of five ANBU—Toru, Sora, Hanako, Tsune, and himself. He will look back at the initial starting team and think them weird; a wreck in the making. After all, three ‘rookies’ with two superiors? How did they know it wouldn’t end in tatters?</p><p>
  <em>(How did they know they could trust Sora and Souma? Or did Konoha just decide to take the leap and trust that those once in ROOT would prove themselves capable Konoha-nins?)</em>
</p><p>Their first mission starts well, and quickly goes wrong—though they only learn that later. One by one, the mission tries to take them, control their minds and destroy their sense of self, <em>(Tsune will never be the same)</em>. For some, it fails. For others, it succeeds.</p><p>And Souma is told to trust his teammates and doesn’t know of the danger that lives in their minds, <em>(the genjutsu that controls them)</em>. He doesn’t expect the attack that comes and can’t protect himself, <em>(can’t protect his heart; but how was he to know it needed to be protected?)</em>.</p><p>Yet, despite it all, Jakkaru, <em>(Toru)</em>, swoops in and saves him—takes him elsewhere, <em>(offers his home, his friendship, his love, and his heart—even when he shouldn’t)</em>. At the time, Souma is unconscious. He won’t know until later.</p><p>In the mission, there is no time to consider it all. He doesn’t consider the fact that Jakkaru saves him, chooses him over the mission and their team captain. But after… After, he sits and thinks.</p><p>It is the first time anyone has ever come back for him. It will be far from the last.</p>
<hr/><ol>
<li>The first time someone says I love you.</li>
</ol><p>Sora learns a lot of things, outside of ROOT, <em>(and she loves it; every bit, hard earned, is engraved into her mind and bones because this is not something she will lose)</em>. There are some lessons that are learnt hard, things that hurt like wrapping barbed wire around your hands. She learnt trust and so learnt betrayal. Nonetheless, she doesn’t regret it—can’t. Not with everything else life has now brought her.</p><p>Because life has brought her a team she can trust. There is Hanako—Eruku—who is the team captain, and trustworthy, even if they aren’t close beyond their connection as teammates. But then there’s Souma and Toru, who are teammates but more than teammates. They are friends and everything that implies.</p><p>Friendship is far from easy, especially when you know nothing of it. It sounds like something impossible at first, <em>(but many things sound impossible; Sora has learnt this doesn’t necessarily make them impossible)</em>. She hears about it. It’s meant to be automatic, instinctual, and perhaps it is. But what happens when those things are trained out of you?</p><p>
  <em>(They are all child soldiers, some more than most. They have childhoods, although they are often shorter than they should be. Some, however, have nothing but things that are stolen from them before they even know of it.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(Here is the thing that Sora knows to be true: friendship is as much of a choice as everything else in life. You choose to have the relationship continue, work on it and improve it and ensure it continues—that is a choice. There are many who haven’t figured this out and maybe they never will, but Sora doesn’t know that.)</em>
</p><p>With no one else to turn to, Sora relies on her teammates—Toru and Souma more than Hanako. This is not a failing, nor does she ever think it is. You compensate for your weaknesses, after all, and this is Sora doing the same, <em>(there is something to be said about warping ROOT’s trainings for her own benefit; Sora is vindictive enough to take pleasure from it).</em> Souma doesn’t know much more than her, only has his own experiences to draw on, but he helps her without question.</p><p>Toru, on the other hand, knows these things, <em>(knows many things, it seems, including unending grief)</em>. He talks about it. Claims it to be a choice. Says that it’s easy. Tells her it’s hard. It seems a bundle of contradictions, which is awful and irritating, but also normal now. Many things, in the end, are contradictions.</p><p>Ultimately, no one else but Sora can determine friendship for her. And she defines it. It’s the casual touches from Toru. It’s the offer to spar, to hang out, to eat together. It’s Toru welcoming her into his home with his family, <em>(it’s her doing the same—not in return, but because she can)</em>. It’s Souma grinning at her as they race the wind. It’s all three of them curled up together in the aftermath of something—a hard spar, a training session, a mission. Friendship isn’t easy, but it’s also the easiest thing in the world.</p><p>She wakes up, one day, feeling sleepy-soft in the sunlight. Her muscles ache pleasantly, the aftermath of a good spar. Souma is still asleep, <em>(not fully asleep, not when they’re out in the open, but still sleeping)</em>, somehow comfortable laying across both Toru and Sora’s lap. Beside her, Toru shifts, pressing further against her, head pillowed on her shoulder.</p><p>Maybe he feels her shift or maybe he hears her breathing change, somehow, he just knows she’s awake. He moves and she glances at him, meets his gaze. He, too, is sleepy-soft, but he is gentle, <em>(the fact that he is gentle always astounds her; she doesn’t know how to be gentle)</em>.</p><p>
  <em>(She hasn’t realised she already is.)</em>
</p><p>“Hey,” she says, voice low as it seems to fit the atmosphere better. Above them, the leaves sway in the wind, dappling them in shadow briefly.</p><p>“Hey,” Toru replies just as quietly. He sighs, relaxes, and closes his eyes as he makes himself comfortable against her side once again. Easily, she wraps an arm around him to tug him closer. “I love you.”</p><p>Despite his soft tone, the words are clear. They resound in her head. <em>I love you. I love you. I love you</em>. The phrase rises within her, clamouring for attention, and she feels like she could run for days without chakra. These are not things she knows how to say, how to share, how to show. Toru has taught her that she should try to do so, in the future if not in the present time.</p><p>The words come to her lips easily, like they’ve always been sitting at her tongue waiting for her to catch up. “I love you too.”</p><p>Toru smiles and Sora loves him, loves the moment, loves Souma, loves all of them. She feels full of it, like she can never know anything else. The best lesson she will ever learn is this: she loves.</p>
<hr/><ol>
<li>The first time you feel safe.</li>
</ol><p>Getting to Uzushio is easier than it feels like it should be. Dai’s family had left running, pursued by war and haunted by the ghosts of a village lost. And so Dai had grown up running. It was like travelling, with the added task of constantly looking over your shoulder. She didn’t really know what it meant to settle down and feel truly safe and know that you were going to remain there for some time.</p><p>Uzushio is a broken husk of a village—but it isn’t, at the same time. The people smile and offer help with ease. They’re all kind and understanding. There’s no suspicion surrounding a new person—they’re all new in a way. But-</p><p>The Uzushio Dai’s parents spoke of was safety. She doesn’t know what that feels like, but it isn’t this. Uzushio isn’t safety. It feels like every other momentary pause in their travels. A place to rest, recover, and then leave.</p><p>She’s not sure why it doesn’t feel like safety, <em>(safety is hiding behind wards and seals and jutsus and trusting that there’s no one nearby—safety is your heart not hammering in fear or worry, it’s letting yourself think past the fear in favour of other things)</em>. Uzushio is different. They’re putting down roots—her parents more so than her. She wonders how they can bare to do so, but also remembers their tears when Uzushio called everyone back, and then she understands.</p><p>Uzushio is strange as a village, as a place to stay, as a community. Dai isn’t sure how she fits in, not just as a person, but also as a ninja. After all, she’s only ever taken a few missions. It was dangerous to pull attention to themselves on the road, and so she just trained and trained and trained. It’s made her dangerous, but also inexperienced, <em>(sometimes it feels like the only thing she knows how to do is run, to look over her shoulder, to keep going and going and going no matter what)</em>.</p><p>But there’s one thing Dai knows how to do, and its work hard. Uzushio, if nothing else, demands hard work and Dai is capable of that. So she works hard, offers her strength where she can. It seems like there are always jobs to do. She talks to the people around her, learns their names, and doesn’t quite let herself become friends, though she is friendly.</p><p>
  <em>(There’s some part of her that is still waiting for the next stretch of running.)</em>
</p><p>When talk of ninja ranks starts to circulate, Dai quickly finds out more. She might not know much, might be inexperienced, but she is a ninja. At first, it seems like things will continue as they have been, just with added patrols. However, everything takes a swift turn away from the path Dai has assumed she would walk. Instead, there are enemy ninjas and Dai fights at Toru’s back, <em>(whispers say many things about him, but rumours always say many things and Dai prefers to take knowledge from what she sees in front of her rather than third-hand information from rumours)</em>.</p><p>It’s almost laughably easy to slip in behind Toru, to stand at his back, to claim a position for herself. And Toru welcomes her—lets her look over her shoulder for him. There’s not a river-deep trust between them, but it’s the start of something.</p><p>And that something continues when Dai becomes ANBU, makes her own mask and adds seals, works beside Toru in a professional capacity and starts to form a relationship with him as a friend.</p><p>
  <em>(Roots, she will think to herself then, and she will wonder whether she’ll regret this in the future.)</em>
</p><p>Then, Souma and Sora are there, trusted by Toru, loved by Toru, and Dai is glad more than anything else—thankful that he has two friends by his side. There are some things only time and experience will form, and those include trust and bonds and stronger friendships.</p><p>And time does pass them by, as it always will, and somehow Dai is pulled into the lives of the trio. She is new to them, to their team, to their comradeship, but—somehow—she is added easily. They don’t just grant her glimpses into their lives, but invite her in wholeheartedly. She learns that while they don’t laugh easily, they laugh hard. She learns that they give comfort frequently, though not effortlessly.</p><p>In the end, the group don’t just offer her friendship and a team for the first time, but a permanent home in their own hearts but also in a building just for them, <em>(when they first invite her home, it doesn’t seem like anything; when they give her a key and a room, she chokes up because this is new to her)</em>.</p><p>It’s the house, <em>(her home; their home)</em>, that makes her realise that something in her life has changed forever. It’s not just the new village, not just her parents no longer looking over their shoulders. But it’s the team who surround her and love her. They make her feel safe and their home feels safe too.</p><p>Safety, it turns out, feels like a blanket being tucked around her when she’s halfway to being asleep. Safety is the comfort in knowing someone is on watch and you can trust them. Safety is not wondering who’s coming for you.</p>
<hr/><ol>
<li>The first time you can be yourself.</li>
</ol><p>Anyone who knows Toru knows that he loves, deeply, strongly, and without reserve. But Toru is a person of enigmas, of impossible things and lives relived. Secrets aren’t just engraved into his bones, they’re written into his soul.</p><p>
  <em>(Once, there was a man called Toru Mizushima who died and was reborn. Uzushio is still alive with people hidden around the world. Toru Uchiha’s best skill are his seals, but that knowledge is not something he should have.)</em>
</p><p>Secrets don’t prevent you from loving someone, from being loved in return. They don’t prevent you from being who you are, but they can make things hard. When you can’t explain something away, sometimes you simply avoid mentioning it in the first place.</p><p>When Toru remembered, he had no one to turn to. Sasuke was in his care and, later, Naruto too—but they had been boys, children, and Toru had an entire village to mourn alone. The ghosts of his pasts didn’t just haunt his dreams, but they rested ghostly hands on his shoulders and pushed him towards Uzushio, even when Toru couldn’t go to Uzushio, <em>(there are few things Toru would delay Uzushio’s rise for—Sasuke and Naruto are two of them)</em>.</p><p>Toru’s genin teammates, Shou and Kiku, had been his friends but nothing more. The secrets he’d wrapped himself in remained contained, locked away. Shou and Kiku had their own lives to live and Toru had needed some more than what they could offer, though they all tried their best, <em>(there is no unhappiness to be found here, no discontent, just the knowledge that life isn’t perfect and that’s perfectly alright)</em>. And so Toru remained with his secrets curling around his arms like thorny vines.</p><p>He showed parts of himself, selectively, carefully. Somethings he could afford to show his hand at, <em>(he will survive, he has to survive, and sometimes that means revealing part of your hand early)</em>. But others he kept to the back of his mind, only sharing small things when he could trust the person in front of him, <em>(those he trusted enough had only been a small number—Sasuke and Naruto; Iruka to some degree, Shou and Kiku to a lesser degree)</em>.</p><p>Then he joined ANBU and along came Sora and Souma. They didn’t know enough of the world to know how people should be and they were teammates and Uzushio. He couldn’t trust them, not right away, but they were teammates and that meant something, <em>(Toru would make it mean something)</em>.</p><p>Around them, Toru relaxes. He can be himself. He can say strange things and they won’t think to question it, <em>(they will question it but they will trust him; they will cover for him; they will love him in ways they thought impossible)</em>. He still keeps some secrets, but he feels freer. There are no chains wrapped around his ankles anymore.</p><p>Time passes, because it always does, and Toru clings to those he has—to Sasuke, to Naruto, to Sora, to Souma. Some of them slip from his fingers, dancing away and smiling while doing so. Itachi comes home and Sasuke has his family back. Naruto has grown into himself, proven himself, and has a <em>sannin</em> willing to teach him. Sora and Souma can live without him, always will be, because they’ve never needed him, <em>(not like he sometimes thinks he needs them, like he’s drowning and no one’s around to help him but they see him and they save him)</em>.</p><p>Toru goes, <em>(he’s not running away—he’s running towards something)</em>. Toru goes and he goes alone.</p><p>
  <em>(And he is running away, but he will never admit this—to himself or to anyone else. He is running away because he doesn’t want to see Naruto and Sasuke draw away and leave him. They must, they have to, but it will hurt and this is easier. Better for all of them.)</em>
</p><p>Uzushio gathers him, all sharp pieces and secrets, and loves him, <em>(always has loved him, always will love him)</em>. He brings the village’s people back, <em>(he saves Uzushio and Uzushio saves him, perhaps it’s an exaggeration but perhaps it’s not)</em>. He grieves with them, with the village, mourns for what has been and what should’ve been. And then, with them, they build something stronger from the ruins that remain.</p><p>There are people surrounding him, a few circle him closely, yet he feels alone. It’s the shadow of a blanket thrown comfortably over his shoulders. The ghost of a hug. The footsteps that aren’t echoing behind him.</p><p>Dai comes, joins him, settles easily into a position like it was made for her, <em>(she made it herself, fashioned it into something that fit her)</em>, and things are better. And then-</p><p>Then Sora and Souma come, like a whirlwind but unexpected. Suddenly, Toru is home and there are no secrets hidden away. Sora and Souma and Dai come and see him as he is, everything he is and everything he has been and all the things he has done, and they love him despite it, for it. They love him and Toru can finally, for the first time, be himself.</p>
<hr/><ol>
<li>The nth evening together.</li>
</ol><p>For once, Souma isn’t the one in charge of cooking this time. A bit uncommon, but not terribly odd. Instead, he’s playing a simple card game against Sora, which seems to involve an unusual amount of shouting, <em>(and a normal amount of laughter)</em>. Meanwhile, Toru and Dai are trying to cook something from scratch despite the fact that between them both they maybe know two-thirds of the recipe.</p><p>“I think it’s cooked,” Dai announces, just as Sora wins Souma’s last card bringing the overall score to 7-4 in her favour.</p><p>“Good timing,” Souma says, standing up and grabbing a serving for himself. “Did you figure out the final bit of the recipe?”</p><p>Toru shrugs, even as he smiles, and hands Sora her on serving. “We winged it,” he says. “But it tastes good and that’s all that matters.”</p><p>“It’s not exactly what we were going through, but we can try again another night,” Dai adds.</p><p>Sora smiles at that. There’s nothing pressing to do now. They’ve fought in a war, won it for themselves, and come back, <em>(alive)</em>. They’ve got time, <em>(time to sit and laugh and decompress)</em>.</p><p>Dinnxer involves conversation, talking over the top of each other to share their stories from the day, despite the fact they had been together for a large part of it. Toru shares stories from the office, Tomoe’s latest idea, and something sweet a kid had said to him on his way home. Dai talks about the dog that had wandered into an ANBU team’s training session near their HQ, and how the team had quickly stopped training to pet the dog instead. Sora mentions the most recent gossip in the market, the baker’s plan to surprise his husband for their anniversary. And Souma discuss the most recent plot twist and scandal for the TV show he’s been watching recently.</p><p>When they’ve finished eating, even as they speak, they clean up. Sora and Souma do the washing and drying while Toru and Dai hang about in the kitchen as they finish up. By the time they’re done, the sky has settled, well and truly, into night. Their world is lit by soft lighting overhead, comforting in its familiarity.</p><p>The night catches up to Toru at last, sending him yawning despite the early hour. One yawn sets the rest of them off as well, causing Dai to grumble and swat at Toru’s arm, blaming him.</p><p>They might be tired, but the hour is still early and they have time on their hands, <em>(why would they want to be anywhere else?)</em>, and so they take to the couch with its pillows and blankets. The room is warm enough to veto the blankets, though Toru still curls up, squished into the corner—but he leans against Sora rather than the side of the couch. On Sora’s other side, Dai is half-stretched out, half slouched against Sora, somehow comfortable. Meanwhile, Souma stretches out across their laps and the rest of the couch, feet hanging off one end with his head in Toru’s lap.</p><p>
  <em>(This is easy. Intimacy and comfort are familiar acts now. It would be stranger to not brush past, to not hug, to not sign messages as they pass, than to do it. These are things created in time, learnt and perfected with care. They are ANBU, perhaps, but their silent language is not just for missions—it’s also for when words seem to loud or it is easier to not speak.)</em>
</p><p>Nothing can distract them from each other in this moment, despite appearances. They might have books and other items in hand, but attention is paid to each other. It’s quiet and gentle, but that is a kind of comfort on its own. It’s love, silent, and always present. Love can always be found in their house—whether they are together or apart, whether they’re in Uzushio or outside the village.</p><p>How many of their evenings are spent like this, in laughter and love, in conversation and silence? Far too many to count. And why should they count them anyway? They are.</p><p>
  <em>(The best kind of love is the one you choose. And they have chosen. Time after time, they have chosen. They will always choose each other. They can hardly do anything else. They love, deeply, even when the world has warned against it. They have found each other, despite the impossibilities. And they will stay together, because they are a family, because they are a team, because they love.)</em>
</p><p>The evening will pass, because they always do. But then the next day will come and it will bring its own evening. Some things, in the end, are eternal. Some things are not. It doesn’t matter whether what they have is eternal or not. What matters is that they have one another. What more could they ask for?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I love how human they are and how much they love each other and I'm sobbing I love them. </p><p>Feel free to find me on <a href="https://silent-silver-slip.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a>. There's actually my first attempt of this piece over there and you can find it Feel free to find me on <a href="https://silent-silver-slip.tumblr.com/post/645621102104723456/prompt-firsts-sora-souma">here</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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